One of the hardest things, I deal with is helping worship leaders work through conflict and brokenness in their churches. If you have spent any time around the church you will realize that conflict resolution skills and experience are a must for a team. People will hurt you! People will disagree with you! People will sin!
The challenge for the worship leader is to develop and maintain a healthy relationships with all the staff that he works with regularly as well as the others in leadership at his church. Whether you serve at a church of 100 or 4,000, the skills that will help you survive the certainty of conflict are essential.
Here is my short list.
Meet regularly with a colleague outside your situation. Don’t do this alone! If you have opportunity to meet with other like minded leaders do it. Don’t meet with an opposite sex leader, recipe for disaster there. You don’t need to confide in you co-worker or assistant. The best place to begin isn’t your wife either! Take time to find another worship leader or person you trust and begin to talk regularly about the stresses and challenges of your work.
Humble Yourself! Remember The enemy is roaring lion! You are a target! Don’t ever forget that! The evil one wants to make you completely unfruitful and unproductive, angry, hurt, bitter and toxic. Remember and memorize this verse.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11 ESV)
Learn about conflict read a few good books and take a class or two!
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
Related Article from Peacemaker Ministries: Accountability: The Mark of a Wise and Protected Leader
Develop good boundaries No one needs to be taken advantage of. If you find yourself, in a hurtful and abusive situation you need to know how to recognize it and deal with it.
Remember Sin and conflict is not always intentional! One of the most important things I have learned over the years is that people are sinners! People and leadership teams don’t think! People and leadership teams are unwise and sometimes People and leadership teams are intentionally sinful!
One of the best books to read about his concept is Bold Love by Dan Allender.
Choose Joy! You will grow to be like Christ! I hate it when i grumble to my wife about some issue that is bothering me. (yes I’m also prone to talk to my wife) She looks at me and says, “you’re gonna be so shiny.” As much as it bothers me, she is right!
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4 ESV)
It is my prayer that you never have to encounter a situation at your church and ministry that causes conflict and pain, but you will! Don’t despair!
Jesus hasn’t left his throne! He is praying for you! You are not alone!